There are so many different schools of thought about the best way to let your baby sleep – and to get your baby to sleep.
We all need to sleep, so I say do what works best for you and your family. Just know that all decisions have consequences of some sort.
This baby in the photo above has a pacifier…for some, it is the essential soother, allowing baby to fall asleep on his/her own. But what if it falls out? Does baby wake up? And what if baby is still needing the paci to fall asleep at age 3, or 4, or even 5? Dr. Sears advises against pacifiers – though not necessarily due to difficulty weaning. His concern is with nipple confusion and his belief that babies should be soothed by a human, not by plastic.
What about twins sleeping together? According to Natalie Diaz, mom of multiples, founder of Twiniversity and director of the Manhattan
twins Club, twins should at least start out sleeping together in the same crib. ”…your kiddos will really enjoy the closeness to their siblings more than you can understand. It’s part of the multiple bond…keeping them in one crib is doing them a huge favor. They are comforted by each other’s sound, smell and touch…” In her experience, even if you have them sleep in separate cribs, they will sleep as close to the end as possible, nearest to their twin. And if they can reach each other, they may even seek comfort in the others’ hand (talking about pacifiers, they may use each other’s fingers instead!).
“Back to sleep.” The NICHD (National Institute of Child Health & Human Development) still recommends that every baby be put to bed on his/her back. This is believed to keep the airways open and decrease the risks of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). They believe that “tummy time” during the day will help reduce the flat spots and hair loss on the back of the head, and it definitely strengthens their muscles in preparation for crawling. Anyway, back to sleep… what if your baby always rolls over to his/her tummy while sleeping or in order to fall asleep? Early on, swaddling will keep your baby on his or her back, but bigger and more active babies will roll around. According to babycenter.com, babies who are rolling over are usually strong enough to roll back, or at least hold their heads up, and therefore the risk of SIDS is significantly decreased.
Pediatrician Richard Ferber is the founder and former director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children’s Hospital in Boston. You’ve likely heard of “Ferberizing” so your baby will go to sleep without you. Many people have had success with this method. My mom had to let me “cry it out” as a baby and I turned out ok (I think!?), but we just couldn’t do it with our kids. The opposite might be thought of as co-sleeping, or the “family bed.” It allows for breastfeeding more easily, though there is controversy- especially in its safety. We chose a middle ground- we stayed with our little ones as they (and until they) fell asleep. They became very grounded, independent but loving older kids. They can fall asleep on their own and they even go to overnight camp without issue. Again, do what works for you and your family.
Dr. Harvey Karp, nationally renowned pediatrician, child development specialist and Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at the USC School of Medicine, is known for working with superstars, like Michelle Pfeiffer and Madonna. His popular book,
Happiest Baby on the Block, is widely read in NYC, and I’ve seen moms using his methods during my classes. Karp recommends the “Five S’s System” to help induce what he calls the “calming reflex.” The steps are meant to be done in succession, but some babies don’t need all five steps. 1. Swaddle. 2. Side/Stomach position. 3. Shhhushing sound. 4. Swing. 5. Sucking. Definitely fascinating to watch him do it, and exciting when a parent is able to get a similar result. It can lead to a good night’s sleep, or a longer nap.
Many people will tell you to “nap when your baby naps.” I’ve never been a napper. When my baby napped, I could finally eat something or do the dishes, or brush my hair! It was a good time to read a book or call my mom, write in my journal or do a little exercise. I will admit, I would occasionally doze off if my little guy fell asleep ON me, nursing. But otherwise, it was ME time. If you need to spend that ME time sleeping, do it!
Sleep, baby, sleep,
Thy papa guards the sheep;
Thy mama shakes the dreamland tree
And from it fall sweet dreams for thee,
Sleep, baby, sleep.
Sleep, baby, sleep,
Down where the woodbines creep;
Be always like the lamb so mild,
A kind and sweet and gentle child,
Sleep, baby, sleep.
~Nursery Rhyme
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